Bigfoot Playing Opossum

In a previous post I mentioned that some nutballs in Georgia claimed they found Bigfoot. Well it turns out the DNA evidence they presented was half human half opossum. Is this what they found?

PALO ALTO, California (Reuters) –
Bigfoot remains as
elusive as ever.

Results from tests on genetic material from alleged remains
of one of the mythical half-ape and half-human creatures, made
public at a news conference on Friday held after the claimed
discovery swept the Internet, failed to prove its existence.

Its spread was fuelled by a photograph of a hairy heap,
bearing a close resemblance to a shaggy full-body gorilla
costume, stuffed into a container resembling a refrigerator.

One of the two samples of DNA said to prove the existence
of the Bigfoot came from a human and the other was 96 percent
from an opossum, according to Curt Nelson, a scientist at the
University of Minnesota who performed the DNA analysis...More...

Mass Monster Sightings Madness

First there was Monty the Mantauk Monster that was probably a movie prop. Then supposedly the police in San Antonio caught the Chupacabra on tape.

It looks like a dog to me.

Now some weirdos in Georgia have killed bigfoot.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
August 12, 2008
BIGFOOT BODY FOUND
DNA evidence and photo evidence to be presented at a
PRESS CONFERENCE
to be held on
Date: Friday, August 15, 2008
Time: From 12Noon-1:00pm
Place: Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto (A Crown Plaza Resort) 4290 El Camino Real, Palo Alto, California 94306

Searching for Bigfoot, Inc. Menlo Park, California
Tom Biscardi, CEO

BIGFOOT BODY FOUND - EVIDENCE AND DNA DETAILS TO BE PRESENTED AT A PRESS CONFERENCE ON FRIDAY, AUGUST 15th

FROM 12 N00N TO 1:00PM AT THE CABANA HOTEL-PALO ALTO IN PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA

A body that may very well be the body of the creature commonly known as “Bigfoot” has been found in the woods in northern Georgia.

DNA evidence and photo evidence of the creature will be presented in a press conference on Friday, August 15th from 12 Noon to 1:00pm at the Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto at 4290 El Camino Real in Palo Alto, California, 94306. The press conference will not be open to the public. It will only be open to credentialed members of the press.
Here are some of the vital statistics on the “Bigfoot” body:
*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
*It weighs over five hundred pounds.
*The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
*It is male.
*It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
*It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and
five toes on each foot.
*The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
*Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
*From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are
eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
*The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
*The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.
*DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo evidence will be presented at the press conference on Friday, August 15th.

My guess is it is the end of days and the rapture is near and all of these demons are coming out of hell to feast on our human souls.